Forgotten and Revisited
by Kate95
Summary: AU. When Michelle dies and leaves Amanda behind Ziva revisits a painful moment in her past. First FanFic so please be nice. R&R. Rating will go up in future chapters. Chapter 2 now up
1. Chapter 1

Forgotten and Revisited

Ziva sat at her desk watching Michelle's little sister, Amanda, color while waiting for news from Gibbs. Tony had a worried look on his face and McGee was nowhere to be found. The elevator doors opened and Amandas head shot up. Gibbs walked into the bullpen with a very serious and stern look on his face. Tony and Ziva both knew there was something wrong. Gibbs looked at the child then at his two agents.

"DiNozzo, David, elevator," Gibbs didn't yell like usual which made the two younger agents far more uncomfortable. As soon as the elevator doors shut Gibbs flipped the off switch.

"Lee... Michelle isn't coming back," he said. Tony and Ziva's heads dropped. Ziva was fighting the tears she felt burning her eyes. Tony stood there looking nearly as hurt as when Jenny died. He felt horrible for Amanda. Gibbs was as unreadable as ever. He flipped the switch again and the went back to the bullpen. All three of them thinking about how they were going to break it to the child. Amanda looked up with hope in her dark eyes that made Ziva's heart break. Tony sat on his desk and typed aimlessly trying to distract himself. Gibbs walked over to Amanda and she looked up at his with big eyes. He squatted down to face her.

"Amanda, Michelle isn't coming back," he said softly. His voice thick with remorse sadness and dissapointment. Amanda stared at Gibbs in disbelief, in denial. He handed her Michelles badge, and tears began to flow out of her eyes. Zivas heart shattered when she saw the childs face. Amanda made no sound as the tears poured down her cheeks. The tears in Zivas eyes also began to run. She made a quick escape to the ladies room.

*****At the Ladies Room*****

Ziva splashed cold water on her face. Then she looked at her reflection in the mirror. Her blank stare was clouded when more tears flowed from her eyes.

XxXxXxXx Flashback xXxXxXxX

"You can't catch up with me mommy!" yelled a little girl happily as she ran through the sand. Her mother running behind her closely.

"Sure about that Tali?" she asked, as she swept the child into her arms making her laugh harder. The childs light brown hair was neatly done into two pigtails and her chocolate brown eyes twinkled in the bright sun.

"Mommy I wanna go on the merry-go-round," she said. Her mother put her down and watched her run eagerly toward the ride. Her mother followed closely behind. As the girl climbed onto one of the horses she laughed excitedly.

"I love you mommy."

"And I love you Tali," she told the child and kissed her forehead lightly. Her mother stepped back and watched as her daughter laughed like there was no tomorrow.

*****End Flashback*****

The pounding on the bathroom door startled Ziva bringing her back to reality.

"Hey, you ok in there?"

It was McGee. He sounded worried but also curious about what was taking his coworker so long. He knocked again more softly leaning against the door.

"I'm fine McGee. I'll be out in a minute, or two," she said in a convincing tone. He didn't leave the bathroom door instead he just stood there waiting for Ziva to step out. A few minutes later she did. McGee saw that her eyes were still a little red from crying. He knew she had been. She knew he knew she been but acted like it was all fine.

"Do you need anything McGee?" she asked knowing he had probably heard her light sobs. He shook his head and walked away. She sighed and made her way back to her desk. Amanda was no longer there, Gibbs informed her that someone from social services picked her up. The team, or well Gibbs decided to call it a day. He sent his agents home to get some rest. They all said goodbye and left the building one by one. The only ones left were Gibbs and Ziva. She sat at her desk staring at a drawing Amanda had left behind.

"You ok Ziva?" he asked sitting on her desk. She looked up at him then went back to staring blankly at the picture.

"I am fine Gibbs. I'm just a little worn out and..." her voice trailed off and Gibbs knew she was holding something back.

"And... what?" he asked hoping to get it out of her. She let out a deep sigh and got up gathering her stuff. He stood in front of her and blocked her exit.

"Gibbs I would like to go home," she whispered. He put his hands on her shoulders and pulled her into a warm fatherly hug. She dropped her bag and threw her arms around him.

"Now will you tell me what's wrong Ziver?"

"No, I can't," she answered, holding onto him tightly. He stroked her hair and held her tightly.

"Okay then. If you want to talk you know where to find me. Now go home get some rest," he said moving out of her way.

"Thank you Gibbs," she said. She smiled at him and they walked toward the elevator. On her way home, Ziva suddenly turned around and headed toward Gibbs' house.

She arrived a few minutes later. Ziva made her way to his door finding it unlocked as usual. She checked the time, 10:35. He's in the basement, she thought. She made her way down the stairs into the basement to find him sitting on a stool drinking bourbon. He wasn't facing her, but he could hear her approaching.

"Is everything ok, Ziva?" he asked still facing away from her.

"No, actually nothings ok," she said softly. He got off the stool and walked over to her. She was looking down fighting the urge to burst out into tears.

"You wanna talk about it?" he asked placing his hands on her shoulders. She shook her head and tried to get free from his grip. He didn't let her go, she tried again but he wouldn't let her go.

"You're not going to walk away again, Ziva. Let it out, tell me," he pushed. She looked up at him with a murderous look in her eyes. She shook her head again looking down at the floor again. It was silent for a long time. Ziva couldn't fight the tears anymore and they started streaming down her face. She tried to wiped them away but, Gibbs noticed right away. He let go of her shoulders knowing he probably would never get it out of her.

"Gibbs, please try to understand," she begged with tears still streaming down her cheeks.

"Try to understand what? You have not said anything to me!"

"Try to understand that I do want to talk about it but it's too painful."

He looked her in the eyes and saw, it, the pain she was talking about. That's when he began to understand.

"Okay, Ziva. I know you'll wanna talk when you're ready. I'll be here for you Ziver," he told her lovingly.

"I know Gibbs, thank you," she told him with a weak smile.

"C'mere," he mumbled and pulled her into another warm hug. Like before she threw her arms around him as well. After a few long minutes Ziva broke the hug.

"Thank you Gibbs I really appreciate it that you want to help me," she told him honestly. He smiled and kissed her forehead.

"Anytime Ziver. Do you wanna spend the night here since it's really late?"

"Actually yea, that would be great, Gibbs."

"Ok, come on let's get you to the guest room. Are you going to need a something to sleep in?" he asked as they made their way up the stairs.

"Yes please."

He showed her to the guest room where she instantly jumped into the bed letting out a soft happy sigh.

"Nice?"

"Oh yeah," she said sitting up. He smiled then headed for the door.

"I'll be back with your change of clothes."

"Okay thanks."

"Sure."

She lay there waiting for Gibbs to return. The images of Tali that had haunted her earlier were beginning to fade away. Ziva wasn't sure why Michelle's death and Amanda had brought back so many forgotten memories. Right when her eyes felt like they were going to tear up Gibbs walked in with some sweats and a T-shit.

"Here you go. If you need anything else you know where I am."

"Thank you Gibbs," she told him as she got up to take the clothing. She tossed it on the bed and gave Gibbs a hug. He hugged her back placing a light kiss on her forehead.

"'Night, Ziver."

"Good night Gibbs," he walked out of the room closing the door behind him. Ziva changed and got into bed quickly. She lay awake for a few minutes then slowly began drifting into a deep sleep


	2. Chapter 2: Revelations

Chapter 2: Revelations

A/N: Being my first fan/fic some of the characters will be out of character (if that makes sense). If you have suggestions or any sort of feedback that could make my story better, by all means tell me.

-Dream-

She had her gun pointed fighting tears that blurred her vision.

"Please don't hurt her. She has done nothing wrong," she begged the man holding her daughter and a detonator.

"Tell him to put me down mommy. Please tell him to let me go," Tali begged her mother. The man looked at the child then at the mother with amusement in his eyes.

"Please put her down."

She took a step forward, "I do not think coming any closer is a good idea Ms. David. You could die too. Now we wouldn't want that would we?"

"Why are you doing this? What did she ever do to you!" She yelled.

"Now, now no need to get aggressive. Put the gun down," she slowly put the gun to the floor, "kick it toward me."

As she did what she was told the man was putting the child down but still held onto her hand. The woman looked into her daughters eyes, as far apart as they were she still saw the fear, the desperation in her eyes.

"Please let her go," she begged. Tears were streaming down her pale cheeks. When Tali saw this she began crying as well.

"Time's running out, Ms. David. Say goodbye to little Tali."

"No! Please don't," she begged. Then she went for the knife at the waist of her jeans but at that time the man picked up the child and ran into a run down shack where he was to fulfill his mission. She began to run towards the shack when the bomb went off. The impact of the explosion knocked her off her feet. She fell flat on her back wincing slightly at the pain. She quickly sat up ignoring her throbbing body and stared at the cloud of smoke and ash in disbelief.

"TALI!"

-End Dream-

Ziva sat up bursting into tears. To her surprise a pair of familiar arms was around her already comforting her.

"Who's Tali, Ziva?" he asked. She sobbed harder into his chest.

After a few minutes she had stopped sobbing. She made no sound or movement whatsoever while silent tears poured down her face.

"Ziva?"

"My daughter."

"What?"

"Tali is my daughter, Gibbs. She was killed by a suicide bomber."

"Ziva I- I'm so sorry."

She sat up from his embrace wiping her eyes.

"For what?" she managed to whisper.

"For pushing you into telling me. I shouldn't have. I should have let it go."

"It's fine Gibbs. I needed to tell someone. That's why I came here."

"Are you going to be ok?"

"I think so. I just need to sleep some more."

"Okay. I'll be in my room," she said as he got off the bed. She nodded and he left the room. She lied back down and began sobbing inaudibly. That night she didn't dream about Tali, for the first time in about two weeks, since she found out about Amanda.

The next morning she got up at 0500 to go for her morning run. She ran her usual route more quickly than usual so she decided to run a different route. About halfway back to Gibbs' house she stopped to stretch a little in a small park. She looked at the swings and the empty playground which suddenly brought images of Tali to her mind. Once again her eyes began to burn and she became enraged. She hated being so weak. Out of pure rage she kicked the trunk of a tall skinny tree which to her surprise broke and fell to the side. She closed her eyes for a moment then began to run back to Gibbs' house.

When she got there she felt better than she had a few minutes ago. She walked through the always unlocked door to find Gibbs sipping some coffee and reading his newspaper.

"Good morning Gibbs," she said as she closed the door behind her. He looked up from his newspaper and smiled slightly.

"Morning Ziva. How was your run?"

"Just like any other run, tiring," she told him dully.

"Break any trees while you ran?"

"You did not."

"I did not what?"

She shot him an angry glare, "Tell me you didn't follow me."

"OK, I didn't follow you," he told her and grinned she raised a brow. "Hey I was only making sure you were ok. You know it's good that you basically murdered the tree."

"Why? Why is it good?"

"Cause I bet it would've been DiNozzo if it wasn't the tree."

She smiled at his comment and sat in the arm chair by him.

"It probably would have."

"There hot coffee in the kitchen help yourself," he told her. "Before I forget, I brought you a change of clothes from your house. They're in your room."

"Thanks again. For everything."

-Later that day at the Bullpen-

Tony was leaning back in his chair tossing a paper ball up and down continuously. McGee, well being McGee he was typing away at his computer.

"I absolutely hate days like this," Tony said as he tossed the paper ball at McGee. He jumped and glared at Tony. Ziva smiled at the sight.

"Don't you have anything better to do Tony?" McGee asked obviously annoyed.

"Actually no, McWhiney I don't," he replied.

"I honestly do not get how you they are friends," Ziva muttered to herself.

"What was that Zee-vah?"

"None of your business Tony!" she snapped. "Sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you like that."

"It's alright," he said walking up to her. "How 'bout you make it up to me by accompanying me to dinner tonight."

"I'm not sure that's such a great idea," she said wishing she had said yes.

"Why not? It'll be fun."

"Alright, I accept," she said smiling brightly.


End file.
